Friday, January 20, 2012

so i havent posted in a while....

thats because im out of ideas, or im just swamped with assignments and what nots. so anyway, in a week plus, my faculty is having their dinner and guess who just signed up to perform? ;D anywho. i have been going about this for a while now since i totally have no idea what i would sing at the dinner. im just overthinking stuff again, you know. like if it is the right song to sing, or if it is the right tempo, right genre, right lyrics. ugh. so hard. but i will take it as a step to self-disclosure. haha. ekot human comm pun points. :P

kay, so the theme for the dinner is polka dot, checkers and lines. its alright. at first i was pissed off because after all the anticipation, thats all? no masquerade? no grandeur theme? it really was disappointing but by the time i got over i'm like "Challenge Accepted." you know. so i was thinking of wearing something stripy. polka dot ages, checkers fattens, but lines and stripes flatter. so hello to stripy new dresses (or skirts) as my dinner outfits. :) im actually pretty excited for this. im hoping to find the perfect dress before holiday ends.

anyway im pretty interested in the Mentor auditions which is happening today in Miri and on Sunday in Kuching. mum's given me the green light so i guess its okay. :D im pretty hyped but at the same time i gotta keep my grades up. i need to keep up my pointer pace. and i need to finish my assignments pronto. hummm. im going to the library tonight with Ju and Ika. so i'll get some done by then.

right now im just chilling at the youth floor, blogging and researching on new shawl styles to wear at dinner with Ika. haha. its going to be usual to see me in a shawl but to see Ika in a shawl, that's a rare sight. im gonna be a wallflower again. im always the wallflower you know. its not like i didnt try or anything. i do try but next to them im like a helpless little animal who people dont look at. actually people have compassion for helpless animals, while i get attention as much as the white crayon gets.
its just that i was born this way and i've accepted myself the way i am but people just dont care, you know. unless you're light skinned and cute and skinny, people dont see you the first time. dilemmas of real girls. haha.

dont get me wrong, its not like im not embracing myself but some quotes say that you look at youself beautiful 5 times than the real deal (or something like that). that statement is kind of worrying. it does nothing but to verify beautiful people inside or outside that what they may see might not be what they think people are seeing. i hate that quote. can someone get lighter and light it up and incinerate it forever? whoever came up with that is an idiot. pfft.

okay well im done with writing my 6-paragraphs standard blog entry. haha. maybe its boring, maybe its not. to those who enjoyed this, hello and welcome to my creatively insane mind. and life. and my electronic literary publication. i appreciate it and thank you for your time :) <3 <<love, Nina>>

p/s: this line would make it 7 paragraphs long. nothing to see here, carry on. :P

Monday, January 02, 2012

try writing in BM for a while. :) Maisarah Izhar


“Ah, dah lewat!” bisikku dalam hati. Aku mempercepatkan langkah ke Dewan Ilmu dan melangkah masuk ke dalam. Dewan yang tersergam indah itu dihiasi alunan bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang berkumandang di segenap penjuru. Majlis tilawah Al-Quran sudah bermula. Aku mencari-cari seseorang yang telah aku janjikan kehadiranku ke sini. Tidak susah mencari dia. Orangnya berkulit gelap, berkepala botak dan tinggi, walaupun ketika dia sedang duduk. Maklumlah, dia bukannya orang tempatan. Setelah ku jumpa, ku ambil tempat duduk di belakangnya.
You’re late,” katanya kepadaku. Dia berbaju formal dan sedang memegang telefon bimbitnya, mungkin untuk menterjemah surah-surah yang sedang dibacakan.
Sorry. Got stuck in jam. How many did I miss?” tanyaku kembali. Dia memusingkan badannya ke belakang.
Not much. It’s just the first contestant. Dont worry,” jawabnya sambil tersenyum. Giginya yang putih cukup kontra dengan kulitnya yang gelap itu. Namun, aku tetap mengagumi insan ini.
Namanya Jared Ambrose. Aku berkenalan dengannya disebabkan oleh program pertukaran pelajar di kampus. Setiap pelajar luar negara akan mendapat seorang pembimbing mahasiswa. Aku tidak terfikir langsung tentang tanggungjawab yang bakal aku pikul ketika aku mendaftar diri ingin menjadi pembimbing kepada mereka. Aku hanya mementingkan markah tambahan yang diberi oleh pihak universiti kepada siswa dan siswi yang sudi membantu. Tidak aku nafikan, pertama kali bertemu, aku tidak pernah menyangka bahawa aku akan menjadi rakan baik kepadanya. Memang aku rasa seperti memalukan diri sendiri ketika aku memperkenalkan diri kepada Jared.
Hi. My name is Nur Maisara Izhar. You can call me Mai for short,” ucapku sambil menyerahkan sekeping kertas bertulis namanya serta namaku. Dia meneliti kertas itu agak lama.
That’s a bit too hard to remember. Can i call you Sara instead? It’s a lot easier. By the way, I’m Jared,” katanya sambil munghulur tangan. Aku memanjangkan lengan bajuku untuk melapis tanganku dan berjabat dengan Jared. Dia nampak bingung dengan perlakuanku.
That works too, I guess,” kataku, menyetujui bahawa dia akan menggunakan panggilan Sara untukku.
It’s not like i have germs or anything. Why must you cover your hands like that?” tanya  Jared, jelas di raut wajahnya merasakan dirinya seperti terhina.
No, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s one of the rules of my religion. I cannot touch any guys without covering. That was the polite way. If I were to follow the more strict version of the rule, I wouldn’t even take your hand. I could just deny your handshake,” jelasku dengan cepat menjernihkan keadaan. Jared kelihatan seperti memahami dan terus menukar topik.
Sejak itu, Jared mempelajari sedikit sebanyak tentang Islam. Aku tidaklah sempurna; solat juga kadang-kadang tertinggal. Namun, Jared memahami setiap aspek tentang kehidupan seorang Islam sehingga aku juga terkadang malu dengan sifat pelupa tentang keislaman diri sendiri. Setiap petang, dia mendengar bacaan ayat Al-Quran dari masjid berhampiran hostelnya di universiti. Dia cuba bertanya dengan rakan sebilik yang Islam namun belum dapat menemui jawapan yang dingini lantas dia bertanya kepadaku.
Why does the reciter sound horrible, like her voice is about to squeak if she goes any higher? Why can’t she recite it with a lower key? It must hurt her vocal chords,” tanya Jared bertubi-tubi. Aku yang sedang sibuk menelaah menjawab dengan mudah agar dia tidak menggangguku dengan lebih banyak soalan.
I don’t know. Maybe the surah that she was reciting has a sad or hurtful story behind it,” kataku sambil membelek-belek buku rujukan yang setebal 700 halaman itu. Jawapanku membingungkan Jared. Dia mula menanyakan tentang kandungan Al-Quran. Terpaksa kutangguhkan ulangkaji demi menjawab segala tanda tanya yang ada di mindanya. Sejak itu dia berminat mendengar bacaan ayat-ayat Al Quran. Dia amat berbeza berbanding dengan saudara lelaki se-Islam yang lain. Mereka kadang-kadang terlebih sosial pula dari yang di barat sana. Jared amat berlainan. Bagiku, dia insan istimewa.
What are you smiling at?” tanya jared yang tidak pernah menyepi jika berada di sekelilingku. Mahu juga aku menyuruhnya untuk diam namun tidak sampai hati.
Nothing. Just trying to enjoy myself, listening to the peaceful recital of my holy Quran,” kataku berbohong. Aduh, bertambah lagi dosaku. Ya Allah, maafkanlah hambamu ini. Aku terlalu malu untuk berterus terang tentang apa yang aku fikirkan.
Possessive much. Isn’t it suppose to be ‘our’ Quran as in the Muslim’s Quran?” kata jared yang tak pernah lekang dari pertanyaan.  Dahinya berkerut mananti jawapan.
It’s because my ustaz once said, the Al Quran was brought down to earth for every single person, not for one race or population or whatever. It’s for you, it’s for me, it’s for that woman, it’s even for the president of united states.Anyway, you should give your brain a rest sometimes. Take a break from asking so much,” kataku melayan kerenah tanpa henti si jared.
if i dont ask, how will i know, right? By the way, you really think it’s for me too?” tanya jared lagi.
*okay im stuck here. heheh*

80 questions tagged by Faz :D


The rules :-
Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a note with 80 Truths about you. At the end, tag your friends. Then, tell your friend that they are tagged.


What Was Your
1) Last beverage : air suam
2) Last phone call : to nenek, asking to pick me up from airport
3) Last message: omaigosh! Ana! forgot to reply! D:<
4) Last song: hiding my heart by Brandi Carlile
5) Last time you cried : hmmm i think it was when i watched that one episode of losing it with jillian. i feel their emotion bah. ngeng ajiq suroh tgk that show. :P

Have You Ever
6) Date someone twice : yes. hmm. but it fell out just as quick.
7) Been cheated : no
8) Kiss someone & regret it : yes but it was innocence bcuz i was 5
9) Lost someone special : pretty much. 
10) Been depressed : yeah. a few times. 
11) Been drunk & threw up : Naw. i never drink.

List 3 Favourite Colours
12) green
13) Grey
14) white

Have You
15) Made a new friends : yes
16) Fall in love : one time i think. i really loved him. :/
17) Laugh until you cried : almost. but never cried. weird.
18) Met someone who changed you : yeah. a few.
19) Found out who your true friends : pretty much. hmmm.
20) Found out someone who talking to you : i think u need to rephrase the question.
21) Kiss anyone on your FB's friend lists : nope.

General
22) How many people on your FB friend lists do you know in real life : almost everyone. i'd say about 60-70%. always they dont know me.
23) *I truly get confuced,where's number 23???  what?
24) Do you want to change your name : no not really. 
25) What did you do for your last birthday : celebrate with family. it was lovely and simple.
26) What time did you wake up today : 6.30 bcuz my flight's at 8.40 this morning. *yawn*
27) What were you doing at midnight last night : watch 2011 MTV VMA rerun on 8TV
28) What is something you can't wait for : sem 2 to end already, with a bang! like a good pointer, scoring a room, set for better sem activities and all that.
29) Last time you see your mother :this morning. and i wont see her for about 3 more months.
30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life : not much, some but not all.
31) What's getting on your nerves right now : the amount of food my nenek asked me to bring back here when i clearly didnt want to bring ANY. now who's going to  eat it?
32) Most visited web pages : im on mobile mostly. if on mobile would be fb, twitter, and google. on laptop im always connected to uitm web.
33) Nickname : nina. simple isnt it :P
34) Status relationship : single and ready to mingle but not available
35) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom : i dont think so.
36) Zodiac sign : virgo
37) Elementary : tadika or sekolah rendah? tadika bina hikmah and sk agama respectively
38) High school : SMK st columba :D
39) College : UITM, previously TCS for a month.
40) Hair colour : black
41) Long / short hair : long. 
42) Do you have a crush with someone : yes. i have minor crushes as well but he's the main one i think.
43) What do you like about yourself : i can sing. :P
44) Tattoo : ta bleh. haram!
45) Righty or lefty-handwriting : im a righty! :)

Firsts
46) 1st surgery : ear
47) 1st piercing : ear
48) 1st best friend : my twin friends
49) 1st sport you joined : lari dlm guni kot.
50) 1st vacation : brunei maybe. or kl. or langkawi. eh i dont remember.

Right Now
51) Eating what : maybe i'll eat the food nenek gave me
52) Drinking what : sky juice :)
53) I'm about to : sleep. i have a headache, and an 8am class tomorrow.
54) Listening to :  ghetto musick by Outkast
55) Waiting for : him to talk to me again. :/

Your Future
56) Want kids : Yes.
57) Get married : Yes, insya-Allah :)
58) Career : Lecturer + businesswoman or entrepreneur or sama waktu dgnnya :p

Which Is Better
59) Lips or eyes : depends. but eyes are more prominent.
60) Hugs or kisses : Both is better. :P
61) Shorter or taller : if this is about guys, they should be TALLER than me. hee. no hate. :)
62) Romantic or spontaneous : Both is good, but spontaneous wont hurt too.
63) Nice stomach or arms : nice heart. hati perut and budi bahasa. hahahahah~
64) Sensitive or loud : sensitively loud? or loudly sensitive? :P
65) Hook-up or relationship : relationship
66) Older or younger : older. mana2 la. ahaha.
67) Funny or shy : shy! im always drawn to these kinds of guys or people. :)

Have You Ever
68) Kissed a stranger : Naw.
69) Drank hard-liquor : no.
70) Broke someone's heart : i hope not.
71) Do you had felt heart broken : kinda, sorta, its complicated. :/
72) Been arrested : no. almost but no. haha. xda la
73) Turn someone down : dont think so
74) Cried when someone died : does my rabbit count?

Do You Believe In
75) Yourself : kinda, sorta, still working on it
76) Miracle : Yes
77) Love at first sight : no not really. have to be friends with me first to love me. if not u wont know the real me.
78) Heaven : syurga? yes.
79) Santa Claus : no.
80) The Tooth Fairy : no

TAHDAH! :D