I'm in MIRI!!!!!

watch out Mirians i'm home!!!!
gosh im like so excited and so happy and emotional! when we landed, i actually cried. haha.
i got here, get all my birthday gifts, dinner and celebration, and trus jalan g paxen bah. play bowling.
awesome but not so fun cuz not many people. sunyi.
anyway i made plans to hang with my gang but it's not coming together. haha. only a handful of people is coming. e.g: ana me n fitri n ani n hafreez. maybe. idk. haihhh. bah i need to kemas my bilik.
non malaysians who dont speak malay and happens to read my blog: kemas bilik means cleaning the room. yes, we malaysian teenagers also frets about cleaning rooms. i mean, everyone's room get untidy at times right? no one's perfect. hehehe.
so i gotta go. i'm baby sitting my favourite baby cousin in the whole world: BELLA. she's like super duper cute! byeeeeee.

raya! :)

it's in a week. Eid'ul Fitri is in a WEEK! i cant wait to go home and see my family and friends. hang, chill, drink teabox. hehe. gotta have that teabox man. aint complete without em.
anyway, lemme tell you a lil bit about raya history.
 hari raya is a Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, the Islamic holy month of fasting. it is usually filled with reuniting with beloved friends and family (mcm digi lah pulak.), atonement or forgiving and apologising with relatives and not to forget:
lots and a whole loads of FOOD. googlicious examples:

<----ketupat

 <-------------satay

 <------------Sarawak kek lapis @ layered cake

and many2 more treats and tidbits, sweet, savoury, sour you name it! we got it (almost!) all. haha~

anyway, im looking forward to having my raya this year, it's pretty dang exciting. since im away from family, this would be my first real 'Balik kampung' experience. if you were with your family and you balik kampung to more relatives, that's like old story, man. this is what balik kampung means! 'Balik kampung' are best defined by university students who's away from family, you know. and of course other people under similar circumstances but right now im just gona focus on me.

my dad inbox-ed me in fb, awaiting for my arrival. my aunt did the same too. i was touched. :')

it seems that people do care about me. awwwh. hehe.

melencong sikit dari raya excitement, yesterday was a TIRING and EXHAUSTING day for me and my two gal pals, NORA and IFFA. we went out to town and we shopped and walked around and went on a sampan @ penambang and break our fast at some village stalls named kampung Boyan.

 we ate nasi goreng tsunami, which was super awesome. it is this fried rice wrapped in fried egg and surrounded with tomato-ish soup or kuah. it's pretty good. next time i want to try their seafood rice. the prawns are delish! i am a shrimp liker. hee.

so, in conclusion, i am SUPER DUPER excited for raya and i am also going to be SUPER DUPER late if i dont log out and get moving to class now. haha!

p/s: I just love rambling, dont i? :P

fiction so far. "LIKE YOU"LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN"

I woke up to the sounds of police sirens outside my house. With bleary eyes, I got up from the bed and went to answer the ringing door.

“Sorry to bother ma’am but is this the house of Aidan Bale?” asked an officer in a blue uniform. I rubbed my eyes and nodded.

“I’m sorry to say this ma’am but he was involved in an accident and was badly injured. He’s in the hospital’s emergency wing as we speak; doctors are doing their best to save his life…”

My world came crashing down as the officer continued whatever he was suppose to say. My vision turned black and I collapsed soon after.

I met Aidan when we were in high school. It started from a simple school recess conversation to a lovely friendship. He was the first close male friend I have ever had.

“Hey, you’re that guy from my group, right? Automatic?” I saw him sitting on a school garden bench during recess. He nodded.

“I thought I recognized you. That was some fun motivational session, huh?” I asked, taking the seat next to him. He sniggered.

“Yeah, it was. Everything in our group’s inventive world was ‘automatic’. That was way funny. Our group leader was really good at answering questions,” Aidan said. It was my turn to chuckle and the rest was history.

He understood me and I understood him. We were never the popular kids or the brainy ones, so we kept a small circle to ourselves. With him, I could be myself; the easy-going, goofy, weird kind of girl instead of the uptight, composed and controlled self. With him, I felt easy and not under any pressure to look good or act girly. I can totally freak out about a guy that I have a crush on and he would actually listen, unlike the rest of the male population. It was the first time ever that I could relate to guy.

“Oh my god. You’d never guess who I saw this morning at the gate,” I slumped into a plastic chair facing his desk and dropped my bag on the floor. He looked up from his homework and smiled, like he already knows.

“Don’t tell me. It was your mortal enemy, Zaria, right?” he guessed. It was like he has predictive text input in his head. Only, his brain is a natural computer.

“Yep. Now I don’t have the mood to do anything,” I said, lolling my head on his desk. He chuckled then, his favourite thing to do whenever I tell him about Zaria.

I thought he was a weirdo back then because he was into cars too much; it was his obsession. Nevertheless I took interest in his fascination towards automobile and in return he listens to my passion towards celebrities and fashion. He thought he was not that fashionable so he asks for my opinion on what he should wear.

“What do you think would look good? A collared t-shirt with necklace or without necklace?” Aidan asked. I put my brain gear into drive.

“It depends on the necklace. Don’t you have round neck t-shirt?”

“Not that much. The colours are too much for me. My necklace is this really cool wooden tribe looking design that I recently got, and…”

“No. It’s definitely a no to the necklace. Collared t-shirt, yes. And jeans. That’s good enough. No need to accessorize much because you’re a guy.” I shrugged it off like I was a professional stylist like Rachel Zoe. He actually listened to me; I saw him wearing it to the mall one day. I felt deeply appreciated.

He asked me out to a concert on our senior year, and I agreed. I just thought that this was a regular outing. On the day of the concert, all my fashion advices paid off as he simply donned a pair of blue jeans and a black round neck t-shirt. It was my favourite outfit of his ever because he looked like that werewolf guy from Twilight. After that night, the follow ups to a romantic relationship started and finally he confesses. It was like fate that we got together and risked our friendship.

“Do you know that I’ve been writing a lot?” I said one day. We were hanging out during recess, the only time we can ever actually spend with each other. Most of the other time he was busy doing prefect duties and as seniors, we were busy preparing for our big examinations.

“No, I don’t. About what exactly?” he enquired, curious of what I have to say. I smiled and told him: “About us.”

We were so in love but we forgot about reality. We forgot that we were just students. We forgot that we couldn’t be together no matter much we wanted to. We forgot that we could lose everything in just a fraction of a second. When reality hit, we became strangers, two separate souls depressed under the circumstances that we couldn’t avoid.

“Stop moping around, will you? He’s probably moving on. Does he ever call? Does he even ask about you? I think not. You should probably do the same,” said Moesha. I sunk lower into the couch, eyes fixed on the TV screen. I wanted to cry.

“There’s always hope, right? We should think positive. He might still like me. Who knows?” my smile was feeble, trying to soothe my broken heart. Moesha just rolled her eyes. Even I felt stupid saying that.

“No time for that, Nina. He’s gone. He was just another chapter in your life. Now move on to the next and see where it goes, okay?” said Moesha as she searched the fridge for what I hope is ice-cream. My heart ached so much that I can actually feel it cry, as I would describe it then. I know, cheesy but that was my 17 year old self thinking. Even now doing this flashback, I think I was an idiot.

I moved on with life, secretly pretending that I was over him even though I wasn’t. I lived my life like a zombie with no purpose. Meanwhile, my friend was right, he doesn’t seem to care. That made me fought back my will to surrender. The stronger I fought, the easier was the relapse. It was too much too handle. I made every effort of patching up our friendship just so I can be with him without actually being with him. Like everything else in my life, I would jinx it and it will fail miserably.

I move on eventually with much difficulty. It was never really the same; he was always at the back of my mind. No matter how hard I try to hide him and push him farther to the back of my mind, I can’t stop reminiscing. The memories with him made me the happiest girl in the world. It was a good feeling.

“Move that here, please. It needs to be straightened out,” I told a worker. I decided to open my own café after 5 years. Opening night was in just a few days and I was stressing out to the max. There were loads of things that needed to be arranged and done. I feel like passing out with all the anticipation towards my project. Friends and family members were expecting the best from me. I made the decision to open a business so I was accountable for everything. A lot of people invested in me as well, I just could not let them down.

“Miss, sorry but there’s someone at the door,” said Fatima, my trusty assistant. I wonder who it could be. Don’t they know this café isn’t open for business yet? Reluctantly I got up and see who it was at the door.

PUASA DOE. :)

I'm like having a pre fever symptoms right now. i dunno why though. i just suddenly felt sick beyond explanation and felt all nauseous. i like to think that i have vertigo or something. like Rachel Zoe  in season 2. :P
anyway we are cruisin thru week 2 of puasa, 9th day. how are you feeling? doing good? no misses yet, i hope. :)
puasa is the one chance to remove toxins from our body. by toxins i mean non-scientific toxins and more 'kerohanian' toxins. haha~ wth am i babbling about.
oh yeah. i got to eat bubur pedas twice last week, which was awesome. you know what's bubur pedas? directly translated it is spicy porridge but it's not like rice porridge or anything. it's more like congee or chowder-like dish. you can eat it as it is or with rice. or anything you want to eat it with. :P
i also ate a lot of serunding last week. like so awesome. haha. i love serunding, especially the chicken one that my mom makes. i'm gonna ask her for it later during raya. well, if somehow this post was read by a foreigner, e.g non malaysians, feel free to google whatever i babble about. you should find the meanings then.
i cant google pictures right now so pande2 lah cari k.
salam ukhwah to those who have just known me.
HAPPY RAMADHAN! :) not too late right?

i bet it sucks to be you right now.

so i unfriended him cuz it was too distracting. it is the first step to forgetting him anyway. i dont want to torture myself further. and i consoled myself with two songs.
one: BEST THING I NEVER HAD- BEYONCE for finally taking the step to forgetting him.
two: SKYSCRAPER- DEMI LOVATO for consoling myself cuz lately so many people belittle me.
i feel a little bit depressed right now. bcuz my supposedly best friends in the same campus are distant, and then some other friend belittle me and thnks im a kid that dont know anything. well sorry i dont know about nightlife or whatever. im trynna be good. dont tell me im a kid cuz im not. i thnk im much more mature than you are. im sorry but i dont like being downgraded like that. maybe you mean it like a joke but i took it to the heart. im sensitive these days. like really overly sensitive. about the dude, well he's pretty much history. it's time to move on. :) wish me luck.

I used to want you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'll never be the best thing you never had
I bet it sucks to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
-BEST THING I NEVER HAD-

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like i'm made of glass
Like i'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
-SKYSCRAPER- 

try and listen to them songs and tell me what you think of it kay? 

smiles :)

 p/s: happy fasting!